From childhood’s hour I have not been
As others were – I have not seen
As others saw – I could not bring
My passions from a common spring.
From the same source I have not taken
My sorrow; I could not awaken
My heart to joy at the same tone;
And all I lov’d, I lov’d alone.- Edgar Allan Poe
Tonight, I’m painting pumpkins. My husband and I swapped carving for painting in our last one-bedroom apartment, learning the hard way that pumpkin guts are a slimy hazard when the only space you have for carving is a tiny living room floor.
This is one of several ways I celebrate Halloween, the best holiday of the year. I start decorating in September with odds and ends collected over years of sales at Michaels, DIY crafts, and whatever childhood decorations I rescued from my mom’s threat of yard sales. I love costumes and parties, and I get just as giddy about Rob Huebel’s show “Ghost Stories” on Twitch in March as I do in October.
It’s easy to say that I love Halloween because it’s fun (which it is). But the truth is, while other holidays sometimes feel complicated, Halloween is the one holiday that I feel is mine.
Don’t get me wrong, I love seeing family at Thanksgiving and Christmas, and there are just as many candy canes strewn about my home in December as there are ghosts at Halloween. But as fun as these holidays can be, the way we celebrate them can sometimes emphasize the things we lack.
Holidays that highlight gratitude can feel isolating when life events are making you feel anything but thankful (and it’s ok to not feel thankful sometimes). Holidays that revolve around gathering can feel rough after a breakup or a loss. Opening photo cards from friends and family, with smiling pictures and notes on the back about that year’s wins – weddings, graduations, growing families, new jobs, and new homes – can land like a bruise if you’ve been going through a hard time.
The winter holidays’ emphasis on reflection, togetherness, and gratitude can be wonderful, and at the same time, depending on where you’re at in life, it can also feel lonely.
But while other holidays center completeness, Halloween delightfully centers longing without resolution: the monsters who can’t find a place to call home, the ghosts whose unfinished business makes them unable to rest. Frankenstein’s monster cries “but am I not alone, miserably alone?” in Mary Shelley’s novel as we spend $49.99 at Spirit Halloween to dress in his likeness. Some might view this as mocking, but I see it as recognition that the bad feelings in scary stories are just part of existing on this earth. Hey witches, ghosts, and werewolves, you feel out of place? Me too. Let’s grab some bite-sized Snickers and make it feel fun.
Horror movies and ghost stories illustrate plans gone awry, evil run amok, choices with dire consequences, isolation and fear, and themes of life and death. Unlike the holiday films that share messages of feeling thankful and getting what you need in the end, Halloween movies guarantee no such happy endings. What they do guarantee is adventure. Depending on the season of life you find yourself in, tales of adventure and survival can feel more affirming than miracles.
However, Halloween is much more than the stuff that scares us, and its versatility creates an invitation for everyone.
Want to dress up your dog like a bumble bee or your baby as a quarterback? Want to put a cat in a top hat in your front lawn? Go for it! Don’t have a dog or baby to dress up or a lawn to decorate? No problem! Hang a fake spider in your apartment window. Go to a costume contest at a bar. Drink apple cider and watch Halloween Wars. Have a party, don’t have a party, make your costume yourself, buy it at Target, dress up, don’t dress up, be a pirate, be a bird, it doesn’t matter. On Halloween, it’s okay to be a Barbie among Wednesdays, and it’s okay to be a Wednesday among Barbies.
And if it isn’t – if people judge you for how you decorate or what you wear – well, you just find yourself among the misfit souls whose stories have all the power on Halloween anyway.
Anyone who’s ever felt longing, alone, or out of place can find a home in October. Let the Shutterfly cards and gratitude lists have the other holidays. Halloween is for us.
Yaaasssss