A newsletter (re)introduction

My top 5 essays of year 1 + what's up next

Yesterday was the one-year anniversary of this newsletter, Unmaking Loneliness. It began as a way for me to share the research I’d conducted at BU on social connection and support during the COVID-19 pandemic, research that led me to care deeply about loneliness.

This newsletter also started at a time when I felt, well, lonely. I had just finished my PhD and was looking for jobs outside of academia. The second my cap and gown had come off, the frenzy of teaching/defending/celebrating vaporized: for the first time in 10 years, I had no emails from students, no coworkers to chat with, no committees to organize, no shared office space, no after work drinks. I was confident in my choice to leave academia, but I wasn’t prepared for how alone I’d feel in the space between leaving one professional world and entering another.

During this time, Unmaking Loneliness came to serve an unintended purpose: it was a way of addressing my own loneliness through the process of writing about it.

To everyone who read, commented, emailed, or interacted with my writing in any way, your engagement came in a moment when I really needed to feel a sense of connection and community, and it’s meant more to me than you know.

Some of my favorite conversations that’ve come from Unmaking Loneliness haven’t been about loneliness at all. In response to these newsletters, you’ve reached out to me about the politics of protests, shared with me that you’re also missing a tooth, challenged me on my belief that running sucks (it does), asked if “Where are your friends tonight?” was a reference to LCD Soundsystem (it was), commiserated over breaking glasses in the sink, reflected on the challenges of birthdays and more. With your feedback, I’ve felt encouraged to write about topics beyond the scholarly niche of this newsletter. 

And niches are hard! Having a niche is the first piece of advice you get when you’re starting a blog. It’s a way to reach an audience, establish yourself as an expert, and craft targeted and consistent content. 

This strategy can be stifling. I’ve buried dozens of honest essays because I thought they strayed too far from loneliness, and killed dozens more when I felt like I was creating loneliness content for the sake of creating content, which is the last thing that anybody needs from me.

It’s time for a change. As this newsletter enters its second year, Unmaking Loneliness will now be Being Social with Sara Bubenik, a newsletter about culture, connection, and society.

Honestly, it won’t be much of a departure from how it has evolved in recent months. I will still talk about loneliness; I’ll just also write about other things that feel important, which may or may not be topical or timely. The goal of this newsletter will always be, broadly, exploring how we connect with one another. 

Granting myself this flexibility ensures that I can stick to the one rule I want this newsletter to follow, and the reason I hope it will continue to be worth your time: it might not be consistent or well-branded, but it will always be sincere.

About me + my top 5 from year 1

With this relaunch, I thought I should reintroduce myself, too. I’m Sara Bubenik, a Boston-based writer. I have a PhD in Sociology from Boston University, where I taught writing and sociology courses.

Here are the pieces that meant the most to me from this first year of writing. They’re the ones I’d guide you towards if you were looking for a good entry point to this newsletter. If you’re reading them for the first time, or rereading after some time away, I’d love to hear what you think.

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Thank you for reading!

Whether you’ve been here since the start or you’re just stopping by to skim, I am so grateful to you for reading. If your only interest in this newsletter was loneliness, I totally understand if this evolution isn’t something you want to stick around for, and I thank you for the time you’ve already given me. Finally, if you’re new and would like to subscribe, you can do so here: